Articles, Essays & Publications
 
     
 

“Long line of Jewish comedians ahead of Seinfeld“ (CNN, December 2007)

Handed down since Moses was kvetching about having to cross the desert in his bare feet, Jewish humor emanated from Eastern Europe where the Hebrews overcame some seriously hellacious circumstances on the way to the Promised Land. "Laughter through tears," they called it. (MORE...)

  
     
 
“Organicize Me“ (Seattle Weekly, February 2007)
I've made more failed New Year's resolutions than Charlie Sheen and Courtney Love combined. Lose a dozen pounds, quit smoking, slow down, speed up, get organized, drink less, exercise more—all abandoned within hours of the drunken promise. (MORE...)
  
     
  “A lifetime worth of advice“ (Seattle Times, September 2008)
Over the years, I searched for a mentor like most folks look for deals on eBay. I clung to Hunter S. Thompson's every drunken move when he showed up comatose at the Berkeley campus. After co-authoring the "Doonesbury Game" with Garry Trudeau, I begged him to get his nose out of his own book and blurb mine (he passed, saying he was too busy)." (MORE...)		  
       
 
“We Happy Few” (Seattle Business Monthly, July 2010)
Mindful of the recent collapse of favored investments in subprime real estate and credit default swaps, and in light of the fact that the traditional markets remain turbulent in the wake of escalating implosions and regulation, we focus this month’s advice on safer harbors for our well-gained billions. (MORE…)
  
     
 
“Honeymooning in Paradise” (Go World Travel Magazine, July 2006)
I am not a man who parts well with hard-earned cash. So blowing more than US$ 1,500 a night on a honeymoon vacation did not come easily. As it turned out, I would have paid more. (MORE…)
  
     
  “Along for the Ride” (Law and Politics, July 2006)
First, a guilty plea: I like cops; always have. As a kid playing cops and robbers, I was always the fuzz. I watched Adam-12 and looked up to noble Pete Malloy, and wanted to ride a big-ass cycle like Erik Estrada on CHiPs. (MORE…)		  
       
 
“Zen and the Art of Family Maintenance” (Conscious Choice Magazine, March 2009)
When things are good, when I’ve had enough sleep, sex and solitude (and not necessarily in that order) I try to be a Zen Parent — calm, tranquil, at peace and prepared to maximize my moments with the little ones. During these enlightened times, I’ll notice the beauty of my daughter Rachel’s drawing in permanent marker on the hardwood and think, “Nothing is permanent.”(MORE…)
 
     
 

“Appreciation: Hunter S. Thompson” (Seattle Times, February 2005)
To be honest, most of us never figured the crazy bastard would make it this far. Creator of the wildly inebriated gonzo style of journalism (and always far more sober than he let on), Hunter S. Thompson turned a gun on himself and took his own life this week at age 67. (MORE…)

  
   
 
“A Strange Encounter“ (Seattle Magazine, February 2005)
My personal hygiene habits are excellent (for a guy). I occasionally floss, use leave-in-conditioner, and cut as much of the hair out of my nostrils as I can reach. That said, I can look better. (MORE...)
(First Place Award from the Society of Professional Journalists in Humorous Writing)
  
       
 
“High Noon” (California Monthly, June 2001)
The first thing I heard at Cal’s freshman orientation was: “Don’t let school get in the way of your education.” This concept—however whimsically intended—would radically alter my world view. (MORE…)
 
       
 
   
 
Life Beat Series: They say cheaters never prosper, but neither do people who sound like fools at social events! The Cheat Sheet’s goal is to quickly summarize sophisticated topics and high-brow culture – making you look smart without all that annoying, studious effort. Then you can go out and impress folks with amazing trivia and newfound knowledge. When people ask how ya know so damn much, lie and say you read a lot.
  
       
 
“Star Trek: Set Phasers to Stun: It’s been 40 light years?!”
A little Star Trek (pron. Stahr Trehk) trivia will advance your standing with a plethora of nerds, geeks, sci-fi buffs and people who like tight uniforms. Start off by seeking out intelligent life, learning the Vulcan Mind-Meld (great at parties), then live long and prosper. (MORE…)
  
       
  “The Battle of the Sexes: 20 Years After” Billie Jean King vs. Bobby Riggs Billie Jean King (pron. Bee-lee Jeen King) is right up there with Gloria Steinem and Bella Abzug – but they couldn’t hit the broadside of a barn with a tennis ball (and we use the term “broad” in a literal sense…). Bobby Riggs (pron. Sehx-ist Pihg) found out the hard way. (MORE…)