“The Journey Begins“ (July 2004) I didn't want kids, but fell in love with a woman who's got some. Twins. Age 9. One of each.

The first time I met Rachel and Riley, they literally pickpocketed me. Affectionate and sweet kids, it was part mugging, part hug-fest, a wild tag-team frenzy that would be indicative of our relationship. (MORE…)

“Garden Club” (November 2004) It started about five or six years ago when Brooke, the little girl next door, began yelling at me from her porch.

"That's a hydrangea," she'd shout as I slaved in the yard. "Robins use them to decorate their nests." "If you put that there it won't get any sun." "Those are seeds. If you shove a couple in the ground, they'll come up all over." Gardening was supposed to be a solitary opportunity to concentrate on Mother Nature's wonders; instead, I was being bellowed at by a 6-year-old Master (Sergeant) Gardener. (MORE…)

“Popping the Q” (January 2005)
We'd dated for two years, dancing around the issue of a future together like tangoing lawyers. To be honest, I would have been happy to date Vanessa on weekends for a heck of a long time -- it was a familiar pattern that gave me solitude, freedom and one foot out; but this time things were more complicated: There were kids involved -- damn cute ones. Not to mention I'd met the love of my life. (MORE…)

“Remain Calm” (May 2005) I will remain calm.
A guy was smoking at a bus stop the other day and, as we passed, Rachel held her nose in disgust. I had mixed feelings on the matter and wanted to share my thoughts with her about people's rights, the ability to "get a buzz on," and the fact that alcohol, red meat and Prozac can also kill ya over time, but are far less frowned upon.

I kept the notion to myself -- a good move, in hindsight. No reason to encourage deadly behavior when I'll just be grounding her in a few years over the same issue. I'm learning. (MORE…)

“The Wedding Test” (September 2005)
The wedding was a smashing success, especially since we avoided killing one another, running to Cuba (independently), bankruptcy, disowning our parents, alienating our closest friends, and selling the youngsters on eBay to pay for the damn thing. Weddings, it turns out, are pure hell. (MORE...)