“The Parenting Gig Begins“ (November 2005) Honey, do me a favor before you go to sleep and check to see if the kids are still breathing. (MORE…)

“The Self-Centered Parent” (January 2006) Whining, obnoxious, overly tired, constantly hungry, distracted, self-centered snots. And those are the parents. (MORE…)

“Kids of Your Own” (May 2006) "So, are you going to have kids of your own?" It's one of those questions I'm simply not sure if I should be offended by. More personal than, "How much money do you make?" and less intrusive than "How many times do you and the missus do it?" It's a combo Q of if I can get it up, when I stopped beating my wife, and if anyone would even want to procreate with my DNA. My answers are part "None of your business," and part "That's a really great question, let's talk about our lives in intimate detail this afternoon over coffee." (MORE…)

“The Joy of Talkin’ ‘Bout S-E-X” (August 2006)
I'm starting to understand how little time there is to truly appreciate those positive parenting moments -- in between the scolding, the giving in and the outright contradictory governing -- moments you team with your spouse and do something so well they should give you a SuperParent of the Moment Award on national TV. Ours came after dinner, relaxing on the couch with the twins, with nothing better to do than answer the most important questions of their entire lives. We're talking about sex. S.E.X. Good thing we'd had a few glasses of wine. (MORE…)

“Don't let homework get in the way of your education” (November 2006)
Kids just wanna have fun. That's a no-brainer. And can you blame them? Gee, lemme see: Napoleon Dynamite or Napoleonic history? Foosball or fractions? (MORE...)